"Realization At It's Best"

Just want y'all to know I didn't edit...AT ALL!!! So expect errors! Hope you enjoy and DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT!!!!! MUAH! -NISH


After Bey changed in her sweats, she ended up putting her phone on the charger and calling the hospital to check on Jared..The hospital still had no update on him....Jay went into the kitchen to call Solo, Kelly, Mama Tina and Angie to let them know that Bey was okay...Angie informed Jay that she was on her way over there, so he waited for her arrival....As he was in the kitchen trying to get some lunch together for Bey, he heard an annoying noise coming from the living room..it was Bey's phone, but she was too drugged up to wake up to answer it...

It was the hospital, so Jay answered...

Jay: Hello..*walks back into the kitchen*

Doctor: Hi, I'm calling to speak with Mrs. Carter..

Jay: Well um, this is Mr. Carter...Can I take a message?

Doctor: Mr. Carter her husband? or brother?

Jay: Husband...

Doctor: Okay Great! Um- Jared, the other passenger...

Jay: yeah..Is he alright?

Doctor: I'm sorry Mr. Carter..

Jay: Sorry about what?

Doctor: I'm Sorry Mr. Carter, No...He didn't make it....

Jay: Are you sure there is nothing else you can do? *concerned*

Doctor: I'm sorry Mr. Carter, We have done all we can...He had some chronic bleeding to the brain and we couldn't stop it in time...I'm very sorry..We have no records of his family members...seems that all his immediate family has passed away....If you know any of his friends or distant relatives, it would be great if you or your wife could give them a call...just so we know what to do with the body...

Jay: Okay Doc, thanks for calling...

Doctor: My pleasure...take care...*hangs up*

Jay: *to himself* Damn...Bey is gonna be heart broken I-

Blue: *runs in the kitchen* Daddyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jay: *turns around* Heyy Baby..*picks her up* How's my big girl?

Blue: *smiles* I'm Gweat!!!

Jay: *chuckles* Did you see mommy in the living room? *smiles*

Angie: *comes in* Hey Jay! *smiles*

Blue: No I not see her! *smiles*

Jay: Why don't you go in there and wake her up then! *smiles*

Blue: *gets down and runs in the living room*

Angie: So she is here huh?

Jay: Yeah...*takes a deep breath* Jared didn't make it...

Angie: WHAT?

Jay: sshhh keep it down...she doesn't know yet...

Angie: Oh my God..Are you gonna tell her?

Jay: I'm gonna have to...

Angie: When?

Jay: *shakes his head* i don't know...

Angie: *takes a deep breath* Well, I'm gonna keep Blue for another night since I get Danielle back tonight...She walked out of the accident unharmed?

Jay: She has a fractured knee and a few bumps and bruises, but she is fine...

Angie: Thank you Jesus....

Jay: Yeah, my thoughts exactly...

Angie: *takes a deep breath and makes her way into the kitchen*

Jay: *follows her*

Bey was in the living room hugging and kissing Blue..it's been a few days since shes seen her, and this was a happy moment for Bey and Blue...especially for Bey...Blue was Bey's first born, and she loves her to pieces...

(Bey)
She has grown up to be such a big girl...I remember when I first found I was pregnant...I was so happy..To have a baby with the man I loved...She was a result of us...*smiles* holding her in my arms for the first time brought me so much Joy.....*smiles*
I was hers and she was mine...She excepted me for who I was no matter what...She was the only thing that mattered to me...besides Jay...She grew to be so beautiful...head full of curly hair, and a smile that would light up a room...                                                    

I am so happy to say she is my daughter *smiles* Jay and I were so happy to have her, and now she has grown up into the beautiful princess she is today....*kisses Blue* Mommy loves you sooo much!

Blue: I love you too Mommy..*smiles*

Bey: How did you get here? *smiles*

Angie: *walks in the living room*

Bey: *looks up at Angie* *gives Angie a look that chilled her spine*

Angie: Hello Bey...

Bey: hm...*rolls eyes and continues with Blue*

Angie: *nods her head* I see I'm not wanted here...

Jay: Blue...You're gonna go back to Angie's house right? *smiles*

Blue: Yeah I-

Bey: She was at Angie's house? *raise eyebrow* I thought she was with my mother...

Angie: *under her breath* I mean when a mother is out whoring, we all have to take part in raising the child she left behind...*rolls eyes*

Bey: *rolls eyes at Angie*

Blue: I doo wanna go with Aunt Angie Mommy! *smiles*

Bey: *takes a deep breath* Okay..*smiles* go get your stuff....

Blue: *runs up stairs to get her toys that she left*

Angie: *looks at Bey but talks to Jay* I'll be waiting in the car I guess...

Bey: *chuckles sarcastically* That would be your best bet....*rolls eyes*

Angie: *rolls eyes at Bey* See you Jay...

Jay: Alright...

Angie: *leaves*

Jay: Bey, we are you acting like that? She came to make sure you were okay?

Bey: Jay, please..don't give me that shit...I'm not for it...just take me home, I didn't ask for you to bring me here any damn way...

Jay: I-

Just then, Blue came down stairs...

Jay: ayyee *smiles* You all ready baby girl?

Blue: Yesh...

Bey: Come give mommy a kiss..*smiles*

Blue: *runs over to Bey* *kisses her*

Bey: I love you...

Blue: I wove you too Mommy...*smiles*

Jay: *smiles* *picks Blue up* Come on, Aunt Angie is outside waiting on you.....*takes Blue outside*

(Bey)
One thing I do know, is that my kids will never know if their father and I are going through something...They don't deserve to be exposed to anything negative when it comes to their parents...

Jay came back in and closed the door behind him....

Jay: You hungry? I cooked..

Bey: I want to go home...

Jay: Bey, you are staying here until you get better...

Bey: You can't make me stay here, soon as Jared gets better, I'm going back to stay with him...

Jay: *takes a deep breath* Bey I-

Just then, there was a knock at the door...

Jay: *looks at Bey*

Bey: It's ya door...*rolls eyes and lays back down*

Jay: *opens the door* Hey wassup...Did you get it? *comes outside and closes door behind*

Ty: Yeah, I got it...I still don't like that bitch doe...

Jay: I know you don't...but she needs us...

Ty: Jay she didn't need nobody when she was barking up Jared tree...I don't know why you're doing this for her...She left you Jay...What part don't you get..

Jay: *takes a deep breath* He didn't make it...

Ty: :O

There was an akward silence for about 2mins...before Ty spoke...

Ty: does she know?

Jay: not yet...I haven't gotten a chance to tell her...

Ty: *takes a deep breath* damn...I don't even know what to say...

Jay: Just keep your phone close just in case I call...

Ty: Sure...

Jay: *nods and goes back in the house*

Ty made his way to his car...

(Ty)
*gets in* Damn..that is some crazy shit. I mean damn, I didn't think he would die...Bey is not gona take that good...

*calls solange*

Solo: Hey Ty, wassup? *giggles*

Ty: Solo..have you heard from Jay?

Solo: *giggles* No, why wassup?

Ty: Well, he sent me over to Bey's apartment to get some clothes, since you know she hurt her knee in that accident...

Solo: mhmm..Momma and I are suppose to head over there tonight...*smiles*

Ty: Jared didn't make it Solo...

Solo: WHAT?

Ty: Jared didn't-

Solo: He died?

Ty: Yeah...

Solo: Oh my God...Bey must be heart broken..

Ty: She doesn't know yet...

Solo: Well, is somebody gonna tell her?

Ty: Jay said he was gonna tell her soon...

Solo: God, I gotta get over there...I'll call you back..

Ty: Okay....

Ty pulled off and made his way back home....

(Meanwhile w/ Bey and Jay)

When Jay came back in the house, he didn't find Bey in the living room like he thought he would....He made his way into the kitchen to see if he would find her in there, he didn't find her there either...Jay made his way up the steps and into his bedroom...he looked around and saw nothing...after scanning the room, he heard a noise from the bathroom...

Jay: Bey...

Bey: *silence*

Jay: BEY..

Bey: *comes out of the bathroom on her crutches* What?

Jay: I couldn't find you..just making sure you were okay...

Bey: I'm fine Jay..I just need to get to the hospital so I can see Jared...after I see him, I'm going home...I refuse to stay here..

Jay: Bey, you can't-

Bey: WHAT? I CAN'T WHAT JAY? I get it...You're jealous....thought that a little car accident was gonna win me back...Well it WON'T JAY...He is MORE OF A MAN THEN YOU WILL EVER BE....I'M DO-

Jay: Bey he didn't make it...

Bey: *mean mugs him* How low are you....does it really hurt you that deep inside that I don't want you anymore...

Jay: Bey, I'm serious...the doctor called me earlier...I been trying to tell you all day...

Bey: *drops crutches* *tears run down her face* tell me you're lying...

Jay: I wish I was...*looks her in the eyes*

Bey: *sits on the floor* *cries*

Jay: *gets behind her and wraps his arms around her* I'm sorry Bey...

Bey: *cries harder* Tell me you're lying Jay....Tell me you're lying...*cries harder*

Jay: I'm sorry..I really wish I was...

Bey: NO! *fight him off* NOOO!! *cries harder* YOU'RE LYING!!! YOU'RE LYING!!

Jay held Bey down as she threw a tantrum like a 3 year old..She kicked, screamed, cried and even tried to fight Jay...

Jay: Bey you have to calm down...

Bey: GET OF ME!! *cries hard*

Jay: *takes a deep breath* I can't do that...

Bey: YOU DID THIS! *fight him* YOU DID THIS!!! *cries* Oh God, Oh God...*gags*

Jay: Bey you're gonna make yourself sick....

Bey: *grabs her crutches and makes her way off the floor still crying* *screams* LEAVE ME ALONE JAY! *goes in the guest room and closes the door*

Jay: *runs after her, but it's too late*

Bey had looked the door, so Jay began banging on it...

Jay: *bangs on it* BEY!

Bey: *crying*

Jay: BEY OPEN UP! *bangs* BEYONCE! *bangs*

Bey: LEAVE ME ALONE JAY!

Jay left Bey alone for a while, he figured that she needed to just be alone...Hell, Bey wasn't gonna let Jay in there anyway...Jay laid across his bed and thought to himself...

(Jay)
I've never seen Bey like this...I mean never...I never seen her cry this hard...I don't understand why she is blaming me for all of this...I guess shes just angry right now...Everything in me wants to help her...At the end of the day, she still is my wife..I just wanna help her get back on her feet..even if she doesn't end up with me in the end...

3 Days Later...

3 days have gone pass, and Bey has not left the room...She did unlock the door and Jay has been in there to feed her...She hasn't said one word to Jay, but Jay has been doing a lot of work...

(Jay)
Shit I just burned myself trying to cook this dinner for Bey. She hasn't ate since yesterday morning..I know she has to be starving..I've been arranging funeral plans for Jared..seems that he really has no immediate family after all...just friends and coworkers.....Everybody is calling me stupid from Ty, to Kanye, to Pharrell...but I don't care..Everybody deserves a proper funeral...I've been trying to make Bey feel better, her mom and her sister came by yesterday and fed her and got her cleaned up...she didn't speak to them either..seems she has fell into a deep depression...She barely eats and only leaves that room to go to the bathroom...I don't plan to tell her that I paid for Jared's funeral..just plan to tell her that there is one, and she should go...*walks in the guest room*

Jay: Bey...

Bey: *turns away from Jay*

Jay: *walks to her bedside* Bey you have to eat something, you haven't ate today...

Bey: *takes a deep breath*

Jay: On one condition..

Bey: What Jay?

Jay: You have to come downstairs and eat...

Bey: *gets back comfortable in bed*

Jay: *takes covers off of her* BEY COME ON!

**

In the kitchen with Bey and Jay...

Bey: *walks in and sits down at the table*

(Bey)
I don't know how to feel right now...I mean, I really cared for Jared...He was a good friend and a good man..I can't believe he's gone. I can honestly say I loved him. He is officially apart of me...I don't know why Jay keeps trying to be nice to me. I mean I left him for heaven sakes..You would think he got the picture...the only reason I came downstairs is because I know he would have stood there and got on my nerves until I did so..ugh he is so annoying..

Jay: *places her plate in front of her* Here you go...

Bey: *pulls plate to her and grabs knife* *eats*

(Jay)
I don't care if she says thank you, I'm just glad she's out of bed. I hate to see her so sad...

Jay: *sits across from her with his plate* *starts eating*

The room was quiet until the phone rang...

Jay: I'll get it...*gets up and gets the phone* Hello....yeah, she's here...could you hold for a second? *passes phone to Bey*

Bey: Who is it?

Jay: *shrugs* I think it's somebody at the hospital...*sits phone on the table and sits back down*

Bey: Hello..-__- .... yes... mhmm...great. that's good. But how did you idiots do that?

Jay: *stops eating and wipes mouth* *stares at Bey*

Bey: Okay..I guess..thanks...*hangs up*

Jay: What they say?

Bey: *takes a deep breath* Something about the fracture that diagnosed me with is not there, it's just a major sprain of the knee..

Jay: They must have went over the X-ray again...*continues*

Bey: Yeah, I guess...I was wondering why I wasn't in as much pain as everyone claims damn fracture is...idiots...*shakes her head* *continues eating*

Jay: *takes a deep breath* Bey...

Bey: *looks up at him* What?

Jay: Um..Somebody called earlier to let you know about Jared's funeral...

Bey: Mmm

Jay: It's Friday at 11am...

Bey: Thanks for the message...did they say what church?

Jay: yeah, St. Luke Christian Community Church...not to far from here...

Bey: *takes a deep breath*

Jay: Bey I will-

Bey: I'm good. *gets up* Since I'm not as hurt as we thought I was,  then I can go right? *rolls eyes*

Jay: yeah, I guess you can...

Bey: *takes one more bite of food and gets up from the table*

Jay: Bey where you going?

Bey: Home Jay...What did you think I was gonna stay here with you? tuh! *goes upstairs to get her stuff*

Jay: *bites bottom lip in anger* *cleans up plates*

Bey got her stuff from upstairs and made her way back down the steps...

Bey: I'll be back to get the rest of that stuff when I can walk on my two feet without falling...

Jay: Okay...

Bey: *rolls eyes and leaves*

Julius was outside waiting for her...Bey made her way into the car and back to her apartment...

Bey walked in her apartment, and it felt cold...and empty...



It was weird being back at her apartment...She wanted to leave so bad when she was at Jay's and now, she kinda misses him, but she ignores the feeling...

(Friday)

(Bey)
Jay has been calling my phone all damn morning...I wish he would stop...I know what he wants..he most likely wants to come to the funeral with me to "Bey there for me" ughh I just wish he would leave me alone...deal with me for the kids and that's it...I have Shawn Jr. right now, but I have to take him over to my moms..I hate taking babies to funerals because they don't sit still...He's getting so big..Mommy loves him..

Bey made her way to her mothers and she answered the door...

Miss Tina: Hello Beyonce..

Bey: Hey Mom..

Miss Tina: How you feeling?

Bey: good..and you? *takes a deep breath and sits on the couch with Shawn Jr.*

Miss Tina: Well, I was in the emergency room with Kelly all night, got an hour of sleep, but I'm up now...

Bey: Kelly? Is she okay?

Miss Tina: yeah, just a few complications with the baby...I'm sure she will be okay...

Bey: Mama you know how I am about pregnancy..it makes me so nervous...because-

Miss Tina: You don't have to tell Mama...she knows..*smiles*

Bey: Mama, I wanna tell you I'm sorry for everything....I don't know what the hell was on my mind...I let you down, my fans down, my friends down, my-

Miss Tina: *puts her finger over Bey's mouth* Sssshhhh Mommas always gone be here...you here me?

Bey: *tear runs down her face* Thanks Mom..*sniffs*

Miss Tina: *hugs Bey tight* I love you...

Bey: I love you too Momma...

Miss Tina: You betta get on outta here before you're late...you sure you don't want me to go with you?

Bey: I'm sure...Mama..I'll be fine...*smiles*

Bey got into the car and slowly made her way to the church...she's a little afraid to drive since the accident, but she made it there...

She got out of the car and made her way to the church...as she was walking in, she heard a voice calling her name...it was Jay...



Jay: Beyonce!  Beyonce!

Bey: *confused face* Jay?

Jay: Hey..*walks up to her* I can't let you go through this alone...

Bey: Jay, I'm fine...

Jay: yeah, well I just want to be here just in case you need me...

Bey: *takes a deep breath* Whatever Jay..just come on...







Bey and Jay made their way into the funeral...

Bey cried a lot in the funeral..Jay was there to rub her back even though she didn't want him to...It was a lovely funeral and Jared's friends had some sweet and kind words to say...After the funeral, Bey and Jay made their way out of the funeral..

Jay: You headed home?

Bey: *takes a deep breath because she's annoyed by Jay* What do you think?

Jay: Bey I-

Bey: You know, this is all your fault...

Jay: Bey, how is it my fault..

Bey: *tears up* He wouldn't have died if I didn't care so much about you...

Jay: Bey what do you mean?

Bey: *tear escapes down her face* We were arguing....when the accident happened...*sniffs* He got upset because I decided to wear my wedding ring to the event we went to....

Jay: Bey, I'm sorry...*tries to rub her shoulder but Bey moves back*

Bey: I didn't want the paps to harass you about me leaving...because I knew I was coming back...but my pride wouldn't let me...

Jay: Bey...I-

Bey: *yells* NO! No Jay...*cries* You know what...I should be alone...*walks away*

Jay: BEY! *follows her and grabs her arm* Don't do this...

Bey: Jay, I'm done with this, I'm done with you...*tries to walk, but Jay still pulls her arm* GET OFF OF ME!

Jay: You gone make a scene out here in front of all these damn people?

Just then, the funeral director called out to Jay....and runs over to them...

Funeral Director: Jay, I'm sorry to bother you man, but we don't have the address to the grave yard  you wanted..

Jay: I- umm. It's 1876 west 9th street in NYC..

Funeral Director: Thank You, We will be by your office to pick up the check...

Jay: *looks at Bey and back at the funeral director* Okay *shakes the funeral directors hand*

Funeral Director: *smiles and leaves*

Bey: *tears run down her face* You paid for his funeral?

Jay: *lets her arm go* *takes a deep breath* Yeah....

Bey: Jay I-

Jay: Just forget it Bey...I'm tired of being Mr. Nice guy...I'll leave you to being "alone"...*puts glasses back on and makes his way to his car*

Bey: Jay...*cries harder* JAY!

Jay didn't bother turning around and answering....

Bey got into her car and made her way to her empty apartment....She took of her shoes and took her medicine for her pain in her knee due to not bringing her crutches to the funeral..

(Bey)
What the hell did I do? I made a damn mess of everything....I can't believe Jay paid for his funeral...he didn't have to...*wipes tears*

The sunny day faded and night grew upon New York...As Bey looked out of the window, she thought to herself...

(Bey)
*cries* I really fucked up. I blame myself for Jared's death...Why was I so mean to everyone? I lost my entire support system...I have no friends...and no happiness...

When I was with Jay, I had happiness...
Of course I went and fucked everything up...I remember the day after our wedding...like it was yesterday....

(FlashBack)

April 5th 2008
Its the day after Beyonce and Jay Z's wedding and they are fresh on the newlywed scene. Beyonce and Jay are waking up from a wonderful night of dancing, making love and enjoying each other.

Bey: Good Morning Babe

Jay: Good Morning Love, how did you sleep?

Bey: I slept great thanks to you :) *sits up and stretches*

Jay: *chuckles* Well I am the man!

Bey: Don't flatter yourself Jigga Man! *laughs and goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth*

Jay: Oh you got jokes huh? come here ! *runs and grabs her and puts her on the sink and stands between
her legs* Ill show you Jigga Man! *kisses her*

Bey: *in her whiny voice* Jay put me dowwwnnn! *laughs*

Jay: *kisses Bey on the cheek and put her feet back on the floor*

Bey: That's better! Be nice for a change *giggles*

Jay: Yeah whatever you better watch ya mouth when you talking to me Bey *smacks her butt, chuckles and walks out the bathroom.*

Beyonce finished brushing her teeth and pulled her curls from last night into a bun. As she returned from the bathroom, Jay went and brushed his teeth. Beyonce set on the side of the bed daydreaming about the events of yesterday and it brought a smile to her face. Jay came out the bathroom wiping his mouth with a towel.

Jay: What you smiling about Bey? *throws towel in the laundry basket*

Bey: I'm just so happy that we are finally married! i love you so much Shawn and to finally have you as my husband just brings a smile to my face that's all. *smiles*

Jay: *grabs Bey's hands and pulls her to him* I love you too Beyonce and I'm happy that i can bring a smile to your face. *kisses her softly*

Bey: Yesterday was so magical!

Jay: I know you were crying like a big baby! *laughs*

Bey: oooo no Jay you were crying harder then ME ! *punches him the arm*

Jay: Well your mother and Solo were crying harder then the both of us so were even *laughs*
They both laugh and talk for a while. later they decide to watch some TV and just enjoy each other.

(END OF FLASHBACK)

Bey laughed at Jay's joke, and cried because she realized she has lost all laughter.....In a quickness, she grabbed her keys to her car and made her way to Jay's house...

(Bey)
I have to at least apologize...I've realized that I made a horrible mistake...probably the worse mistake of my life...

While Bey was in the car, she sent Ty, Angie, Kelly and Solo a mass text asking them to meet her at tootsie's   restaurant tomorrow afternoon....

She got out of the car and made her way up to Jay's house to knock on the door...She knocked a few times, but she didn't get an answer...


(Bey)
I shouldn't have came all the way over here without calling...
I should have known he was probably sleeping...

She turned away and was making her way back to her car...

when she saw light flash on the ground from the front door...

Bey: *turns around*

Woman: *standing in the door way* Can I help you?

Bey: No, I don't think you can...I'm sorry I even came here....*turns around and starts to leave*

Jay: *comes behind the girl and stick head out the door* Bey?


TBC.................................